Posted by: James Atticus Bowden | January 28, 2014

No Coincidences

In Nellie's hand on the first page of her Bible

In Nellie’s hand on the first page of her Bible

For a number of days I’ve been asking the Lord Jesus Christ for a “sweet kiss from Heaven” from my wife.  I know that is silly and childish.  But, I had a real vision, unlike any dream, the first night I slept after my Daddy died and a dream, much like a vision, before my Mama died.  Later, then I had many dreams.  So, did my sisters.  I’m not sleeping as before, but I’m not having dreams about her.  So, I asked for a kiss.  Today, I finished sorting her papers.  I picked up her well worn Bible and opened it to what she wrote on the first page, “God never wastes our sufferings”.

Thank You, Lord Jesus Christ.  Thank you, precious Nellie.   Thank you for the message.

Unbelievers say it’s just a coincidence.  Dr. Charles Stanley, the superb Bible teacher, says there are NO coincidences.  I agree.

Part of the one, only, true, living God, which is Spirit, is physically inside every Believer.  It is as real as our immortal Spirit – which is our real identity, our self, our being.  That Spirit, known as The Comforter – the Holy Ghost, speaks to us.  In feelings, thoughts, and sometimes words.  The Holy Ghost nudges us to speak to people when we don’t even know them and don’t want to talk to them.  The Holy Ghost slaps our ears when we hear or say something that is truly wrong.  The Holy Ghost gives us a glow when we smile or speak lovingkindness to those who need it.  The Holy Ghost makes things happen that look like coincidences, but they’re not.

I have no idea when my wife wrote “God never wastes our sufferings”.  I don’t know why she wrote it.  But, I know when I read it my heart rejoiced.  My tears flowed, go figure, and I praised the Lord our God.

I’ve been thinking about how God never wastes our sufferings.

Because some who suffer learn to suffer with others (Corinthians).

Some who suffer learn to love those they love much more.

Some who suffer learn to love those they wouldn’t have loved before.

Some who suffer may help others to stop suffering or suffer less or live with suffering.

Some who suffer may learn ways that I can’t even imagine, but may learn – on how God never wastes suffering.

And, I’ve been thinking about suffering I’ve seen.

I suspect the natural order of men dying before women since childbirth got safer – except on the frontier – is because, in general, women make better widows than men make widowers.  Bear with me.  Think normal curve (I taught stats).  In general, not in specifics.

Most women bear more suffering all their lives as the more feeling beings they are.  Mothers bear everything their babies feel – for all their lives.  Then, they feel the same for their grandbabies.

Most men put suffering in a box.  They tuck that box away in a corner of their mind to come back to it – if they must.

When women become widows, they’ve probably had more practice suffering.  The suffering isn’t less painful.  It isn’t less important.  It’s just something they know more about than men.

Then, I think about the suffering that divorce brings.  It’s like death without the closure.  It takes two to divorce, but one partner can bear most of the burden.  When men leave their wives – which is more often the case – the loss is a leaving like death is a leaving.

The suffering of divorced women, when they suffered the leaving, has new meaning for me.

I hope I can write more to serve those who have suffered.  I want to share how God does not waste our suffering.  Lord lead me, please.  Here I am.

His Word for her - and us.

His Word for her – and us.



  1. Mt 5:4

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