Posted by: James Atticus Bowden | February 17, 2014

Last Night in Our Home

The house I built for my wife.  The one she made home.

The house I built for my wife. The one she made home.

Tonight is the last night I’ll spend in our home.   We moved in February 23rd, 1999.   My wife and I, our 3 kids and the greatest dog ever – Coal – loved our new house.  Later, our grandbabies loved “Mom’s House.”  It was the second house we built together and the fifth one we bought.  We were always grateful that God gave us the resources to have our house.

For 15 years, my wife – my Nellie – went from her design modifications that made the house so much better than the builder had imagined to the gardening and puttering to make it nicer and more beautiful.  Yet, the real beauty was always in her love that lived here.  That beauty transcended the ugly moments of people being people – when sinful humans do wrongly – as all families (I assume) experience.

The beauty and love covered the awful well enough that all of my grown kids anguish about leaving this home – me moving out.  And, yet all of them are enthusiastic that I do so.  Even so soon after their Mom’s death.  There is a local – same town – opportunity to downsize that is too good a deal financially.   I deeply appreciate their strong support and kindness to me.  If one had balked, I wouldn’t have moved.

Other than the diversion to write this blogpost, I’m not investing energy in this last night being the last.  I’m working my butt off to pack and move to a place two-thirds this size.  Good thing, this work.

My wife and I celebrated our 41 years of loving one another on Thanksgiving 2013.  The next day, she had a stroke.  She walked from this house under her own strength.  She fought to live and get well from November 29th until she died on December 9th, 2013.

In this house alone by myself, I’ve grieved without inhibition until I’m exhausted from crying.

I praise the Lord Jesus Christ always – including during the grieving.  I’ve been working my butt off packing and moving this house, our home, our life together out to a new place without my partner.  Tonight, I’ll thank God on my knees – quietly, devoutly, honestly, completely and slip into the sleep of the work weary.

I asked a friend and church brother to get his big teenager son and his young buddies to help me move on Saturday.  Other men from the church just showed up and worked hard to help.  Wow.  Still have a lot of stuff to pack and move into storage, until whatever construction I can afford on the new place is done.

The people posting on my kid’s FB pages about what this house meant to them is such a sweet testimony to our time here.  Now, that time is over.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  Blessed be the name of the Lord.

I’ve many more days work here, but I’ll be at the new place tomorrow night and thence on, until the Lord moves me again.

I’m moving to my 26th home.  My first one without my wife since 1975.  How I wish it were not so.  May this be whatever is His Will.

God is good.  All the time.  No matter what.  NO MATTER WHAT.

The south-facing side - where we lived in the house.

The south-facing side – where we lived in the house.

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Responses

  1. The house is beautiful, yet I feel it will never be the same home again. It sounds like she made it a very special place to live and grow. I’m thankful you are getting support from children with you decision to move. I will keep you in thought and prayer as you continue down this road.

  2. Thank you. It isn’t our home without her. Memories linger but, you’re right, it isn’t the same. The move is compelling financially.

  3. So sorry for your loss, Wayme

  4. Jim… I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to visit with you and your beloved in the house that you shared together for so many years. I I wish I was there to help you move today.

    Tom

  5. God bless you and your family, Jim. He and Nellie will be with you always.

  6. Your wife was such a lovely lady and I am so glad to have met her. Your home looks like a wonderful place to have spent your life together. I can only hope that Steve and I are as fortunate to have as many years in ours.

    Please know that you are in our hearts and minds. We wish you nothing but happiness in your new home as you start this next part of your life.

  7. Thanks Wayne and Tom. Thanks very much.

  8. Thank you, JR and Nicole. Thanks again.

  9. Another beautiful tribute to your life together. It is a major transition to a new house, but no doubt it will become a home filled with the love you shared, and centered in Christ. I expect that, while it sometimes may seem you are doing this alone, you know you are not alone.

  10. Thanks Suzy. This move is a financial opportunity, not driven emotionally. But filled with emotion – so would staying here. I know many wonderful people are praying for me and my family’s well-being. Thank you.

  11. God bless in this time of great changes. With you in prayers and thoughts!


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