Silence Dogood Nelson writes for the Yorktown Crier/Poquoson Post
From the Yorktown Crier/Poquoson Post, August 9-15 2012.
Who Burnt the Popcorn?
Number 1: “Let Them Eat Chicken”
In an office break room somewhere on Route 17. Or, is it Wythe Creek Road?
“Who burnt the popcorn?” asked Mary, the office manager.
“Uh, that’d be me, I quess,” said Tom. He pointed to his gray head.
“You guess?” Mary popped open the microwave. A small cloud of popcorn smoke puffed out. Ceremoniously, Mary threw the blackened, smoking bag in the sink.
“I set it on ‘Popcorn’,” said Tom.
“I saw him,” said Gabriel, smiling weakly.
“Everyone knows that setting for this microwave is too long,” said Mary.
“I didn’t know,” said Phil through a full mouth of food.
“Well, you know now. It stinks up the whole office,” said Mary.
“Sorry, Mary. Can I make it up to you with this extra box of chicken nuggets. It’s Chick-fil-A™,” said Tom.
“Oh, please. Why would you get their food?” asked Mary.
“Food’s good,” said Tom.
“Service is good and fast,” said Phil.
“They close on Sunday for church,” said Gabriel.
“Oh, please. They’re so anti-Gay. Their food tastes like hate. You should understand that better than anyone, Gabby,” Mary pulled her yogurt out of the refrigerator.
“Mary.” Gabriel took a deep breath. “I should understand because I’m Black? Do you think being Gay is like being Black?”
Mary’s body stiffened. “Well, yes, Gabby. Minorities have always been discriminated against. It used to be against the law for African-Americans and Whites to marry in the South. Here in Virginia.”
“It’s not the same,” Gabriel hesitated.
“People are born Black. Or, speak another language. You can always tell minorities,” Tom got up and walked to the sink.
“People are born Gay,” said Mary.
“Maybe or maybe not. Regardless, how do you know someone is Homosexual?” Tom eased by Mary to clean up the popcorn mess.
“You mean Gay. Gays suffer discrimination. They’re a minority,” Mary said confidently.
Tom spoke over his shoulder, “Homosexual is a behavior. It’s a sexual behavior. Like adultery. And, like incest and bestiality. And pedophilia. And polygamy.”
Mary winced, “That is so hurtful to Gays. We don’t allow homophobia in this office. You know Corporate’s personnel policies,” Mary turned on her heel to face Tom. She crossed her arms.
“We allow free speech, Mary,” Tom turned to face her. He opened his hands, holding the air, like a basket of bread. He smiled kindly, “If I’m not yelling fire in a theater, inciting to riot, communicating a threat, conspiring to commit a crime, committing libel or slander, or, here in Virginia – cussing, then no one can limit my free speech. No one.”
“You can’t cuss in Virginia?” asked Phil through another mouthful.
“It’s an old law,” said Tom. “The first Right in the U.S. Constitution is free speech. It was written by Mr. Mason for free religious speech first of all. For Christian speech.”
“Mr. Mason?” Gabriel arched her eyebrows.
“George Mason of Virginia,” said Tom.
“Whoa,” Phil grabbed up his two bags of food. “I’m getting outta here before Tom starts another ‘Virginia first’ speech.”
Gabriel and Tom laughed. Mary couldn’t stop her smile.
“It’s all about free speech. Not homosexual marriage. Or, minority rights. It’s about who says what I can say or not,” said Tom. “And I say I can say my piece. I’m a free man. So, can Chick-fil-A™. So, can you, Mary.”
Mary relaxed. “Let’s leave it at that for now.”
Tom went back to cleaning. “It’s in the Constitution.”
The End.
By Silence Dogood Nelson
When you say that homosexuality is behavior – a sexual behavior… you relate it entirely to behaviors that you find offensive or abusive. Have you considered the possibility that homosexuality is a behavior – a sexual behavior – like monogamy or marriage… which, outside of the plumbing differences, is much closer to the truth.
Also, from the tone of your letter it also appears that the only black people that you like to associate with, are the ones that you make up in your own stories.
By: Rosalyn Fillinger on August 14, 2012
at 8:52 pm
Thanks, RF, for reading Deo Vindice. Marriage isn’t a sexual behavior. But, good for you for agreeing that homosexuality is a behavior, not a minority. Where in the piece did Silence Dogood Nelson indicate that incest, bestiality or adultery are offensive or abusive?
The tone of the piece (not a letter)? How do you know I am not Black?
By: James Atticus Bowden on August 14, 2012
at 9:09 pm
Is it your contention that pedophilia (the sexual exploitation of children) or bestiality (the sexual exploitation of animals) is NOT abusive? I’m sure you don’t mean that. Given that, the fact that you would couple the subject behavior with a series of others that you expect the reader to find either distasteful or offensive seems clearly designed to create an impression that gay relationships are abusive and exploitative. Do you believe this is true – or are they merely ‘sinful’?
Also, your letter’s contention that “You can always tell minorities” is refuted soundly by Mr. Twain’s epic drama of the south and slavery, “Pudd’nhead Wilson.” A crackin’ good read that also demonstrates that you, indeed, could be a black man – or woman.
No, the issue here is that your letter has created an artificial environment, surrounded by people that agree with your opinion – except one weak character – and you have included a black participant that mimics precisely your opinion. The whole idea behind diversity, is that not everyone has the same opinion — and if you only like black people that share your opinions, then you probably don’t like very many black people.
Just the opinion of an old woman…
By: Rosalyn Fillinger on August 15, 2012
at 8:05 am
Thanks sharing for your opinion.
I had not read Puddnhead – but the story line was familiar when I looked it up. The old blood laws – they had a special name – of race are long gone. So minorities are as they appear, not as they are born. But, thanks for pointing out that anachronism.
You assume way too much.
Let’s see how Silence Dogood Nelson develops the characters over the coming month – if they continue to be published in the local paper.
Fiction is always contrived – an artificial environment.
I wish universities and all educrats agreed with you that diversity is about opinion – ideas – not colors, class or gender(s).
Every society that every existed had 3 categories of sexual behavior. Approved and encouraged, tolerated, and prohibited with punishments.
I find adultery, polygamy, incest, homosexuality, bestiality and pedophilia – in the category of morally wrong sexual behaviors. That is my opinion.
Thanks again for reading Deo Vindice, even if you are an old woman (just kidding!).
By: James Atticus Bowden on August 15, 2012
at 8:30 pm